What To Do When Depressed While Employed

Around this time last year, I was a wreck. A complete, emotional wreck. I was depressed like I had never been before and I was in a pit of despair that seemed endless. My days were dark, my nights were long and loneliness seemed like the only friend I could for sure count on being there. God seemed cruel and far and my friends, though they tried, could only watch from the sidelines and pray that I would come out on the other side.

While all of the abysmal weather downpoured in my soul, I still had to show up to work. I was still expected to meet deadlines and milestones. I was still expected to answer emails and sit in on conference calls. The guys I supervise still needed me to be available at all times, even if available was exactly last thing I was. My work life had no sympathy for my personal life and that only added to the insurmountable hopelessness I seemed to feel.

It was devastating.

This time around, I’m thankfully not in the same place I was. Thanks to God’s grace which includes a loving and patient community of friends, a wonderful therapist, the common grace of medicine and the ebb and flow of the seasons of life, my sadness is not as sad and my despair is not as deep.

Glory be.

But lately I’ve been reminded how hard the holidays are for people. And how, regardless of how hard they be, these people are still expected to show up to work, perform, and do their job as if nothing is wrong. Because the bottom line doesn’t care too much about how close to the bottom you may be.

So I wanted to write something to share what helped me in this season of life that I found myself: the depressed and employed season. I’m not a licensed therapist (more on that later) so I can’t offer any clinically therapeutic advice or lessons; but I can offer, in retrospect, what not only got me out but helped me hold on and ease the burden during the difficult season.

Seek professional help

One of the first things I wish I would have done was seek out the help of a professional counselor or therapist. My primary physician had started me on depression medicine to help, but I needed more than just medicine. I needed someone who is trained to handle these situations to help me walk through my own. I needed someone who’s sole professional practice is to help people like me come out on the other side of where I was at. Thankfully, even though I waited extremely too late to ask for help, I eventually did and things slowly became manageable over time.

Tell a co-worker

One the best things, though, that I happened to do was tell a few coworkers where I was at mentally and emotionally. I know not everyone may have that kind of relationship with their coworkers, but I’m glad I do. They helped me throughout the work day, checking in on me, allowing me to vent at my desk (or theirs), and gave me looks of compassion if they saw me stressed out, knowing that it was more personal than work related. It is hard enough to be present at a job when you’re actually feeling ok, let alone when you’re not. Having a co-worker(s) aware of my situation helped tremendously in regards to making it through the work day.

Tell a manager/HR

This is one option I also wish I had taken advantage of. To this day, I’ve never had a talk or any communication with my manager or HR office about what I was going through during that season of life. One reason I wish I had told them is because from the outside looking in, I seemed to become apathetic and indifferent toward my work, which makes sense when observing my actions without context. Little did they know that most days I was just trying to figure out why I should even be alive. Had I at least mentioned what a rough time I was having, maybe that would have helped them put some much needed background information to place with my actions. HR is there for you to talk about your work place grievances but also your personal needs. Most HR groups have access to counselors and therapist in your insurance network that they can set you up with or provide other services to help out. Looking back, I wish I was brave enough to reach out and at least let them know I was having a rough time

*A word to managers:

Know your employees. I’m generally a hardworking, fun and loud person, even when I don’t like my job. But during this season, my countenance obviously changed and I’m disappointed that none of my managers asked how I was doing. If you’re a manager, take note of your employees and direct reports. Noticing a change in work performance and overall behavior could help them feel seen in a way that will not only show them that you care but also might help their personal ability to perform at work

Take care of yourself

Friends, vacation days are your friend.

Let me say it again:

Vacation. Days. Are. Your. Friend.

Use them. Somehow, Americans became a people who pride themselves on working as hard they can, whatever the consequences may be. I’ve heard prideful statements from people who have never taken a sick day or who make slight jabs at people who are always on vacation or out of the office. The interesting thing about the people who boast about their perfect attendance is that they are generally the most neurotic, stressed-out, and gloom-and-doom people in the office. They might have perfect attendance, but they probably shouldn’t.

You need to rest. You need a Sabbath. You need to step away from your job and take care of yourself in a way that you can’t do at work. Especially in season of darkness and sadness.

You can do this even if you’re at work. Step away from your desk and go walk outside. Go to the break room and just breathe for a few minutes. Head to your car and say a quick prayer. Take a nap on your lunch break. I can’t tell you how to use your PTO or what kind of rest works for you, but I know you need to use both.

Know that it will pass

One of the hardest parts about being in any storm is not knowing when it will be over. When in the storm, all we can do is look out and see how it’s affecting us. We can’t see how far it stretches or if the end is even close to coming. But all storms have a beginning and an end. And all seasons do too. I can’t promise you that your depression will be final this side of Heaven, but I can promise you that its intensity with lessen. Especially if you do some of the things listed above.

Every season ends. Transitions are a natural and expected part of life. I know what your depression is telling you but it’s a liar. Sure, it might always be the uninvited roommate you wish would leave. And someday, it might. But even if it doesn’t, it won’t be loud forever. It is manageable, and it is not the end for you.

I hope this list helps you. If you have any other advice or tips, I’d love to hear them. In the mean time, take care of yourself. Your life is worth it.

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